~ First Day Was Today ~

Wow!! Today was my first day of work at Walgreens 11:00am to 4:00pm (Livernous and Walton) so much fun at work I met a whole bunch of new people. I have to go back in tomorrow at 8:00am until 4:00pm and have to do the same on thursday then I get Friday and Saturday off (Maybe). Then on Sunday and Monday I have training at the Walgreens on Crooks and Auburn. Then who knows what from there. The Walgreens on Livernous and Walton isnt opened yet that opens on the 24 YEAH!! That is why I have to do my training at the one on Crooks and Auburn. After work today I got to come home for an hour and a half and relax and eat dinner then go back out and babysat until 9:15pm. So today was a pretty busy day for me but hey I am not going to complain becuz it is bringing in the money....
Do you ever get that feeling that everything that meant everything in the world to you is slipping away? That is how I am feeling now.. The one guy that I love more than anything finally called it quits for good. That broke my heart so much. My best friend is mad at me becuz I have a job during the day and now I dont have time for her so alls she does is hang up on me anymore. And my brother is on Ohio for school so I dont get to see him much and when I do go down to go see him his girlfriend is the one that I ride down with and so they hangout a lot when we are there. Last but not least I had finally started feeling better about myself more confident and everything and I had a friend that I thought was a friend blow that for me. Life is full of a bunch of crap you cant believe everybody or anyone any more without some kind of lies going around.
Here is a poem that I wrote:

Why does everything seem to go wrong?
I try to keep a good face,
I do my best to stay strong.
It’s just so hard when I’m
Constantly feeling like I have to lie.
About my life and about the times I cry.
I feel like I should hide all my pain,
Everything I keep buried in my soul.
Does anyone know exactly how this feels?
I’ve never felt something this cold.
Someone might say, “I know exactly how you feel.”
But you never will, at least not for real.
People don’t understand they look at me like I am lying
Like I want attention or something
Like I am doing everything
But if you lived my life in my shoes
Spent one day in my world
You would see where I am coming from
Some nights I just can’t wait to go to sleep
Some nights I wish in the morning I wouldn’t wake
Something’s in life I just can’t take
But I have done so many things to stop the frustration of everything
I had cut my arms, but that made it bad
I found out that was a very stupid thing, it made everyone upset and sad
So what do I do now?
Cry?
Scream?
Run away, die?
Nope I just go off to a place where nothing ever goes wrong
Where the sun is always shinning and no one ever cry’s
Where everyone cares but knows when to stop
Where everyone is well and no one ever dies
Where I forget everything:
MY DREAMS

Kurt~ Hey im really sorry about everything with Sam I hope that it all works out in the end. And you know that I am always here for you no matter what. I am so glad that we are able to talk about things.
Jordan~ Hey I just wanted to say that I still do love you but now that everything is over for good I just want to say that I am happy to see you happy and hope that everything works out for you. I am going to miss you a bunch.
Andrew Bro~ I miss you.. not how can I either you are home on the weekends or me and Jess come to see you LOL but it is all good either way. I love you bro thank you so much for everything. You know everything there is to know about me.
Scott~ Just to let you know I am not happy with you at all I cant believe you did that shit. I dont see why you just wont either sit down and talk to me or talk to me on the phone.
Jess~ I am glad that you and my brother are finally dating. I think that you guys make such a cute couple. I just hope that one day I will find the right guy.
Well I think that I am going to head off and go to bed.. I will write again tomorrow... Peace out my homies love ya muah muah